From Principal to Teacher, or Unburning Out
Knowing when to step aside can open new opportunities and new ways of thinking.
NOTE: This article first appeared in Medium, LinkedIn, and Substack prior to being published on my site.
Photo by Jason Leung on UnsplashStepping into a leadership role is a huge commitment for all who make that move. Stepping into the role of a Principal is another level of leadership that is extraordinary, inspiring, stressful, and exhausting. The decision-making intensity is more than many will ever know. You are leading a group of adults both instructionally and logistically to create a community whose focus is supporting the learning and development of young people. The work impacts families, local businesses, local electeds, and the surrounding community. It also impacts the future of the local community and our greater society.
I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything. It was intense and powerful. It pushed me close to breaking, and it made me a better person. It also taught me an important lesson — to know when to step down as a leader.
How Did I Get There?
My path into school leadership took a non-conventional path. I spent 10 years as a Middle School Science Teacher and some time as a High School Robotics Team Coach. I helped science teachers from across our city to practice and learn about long-term science investigations using local science institutions as partners. I loved my work with the Zoo and helped to guide teachers through animal behavior field studies. My own students participated in field studies at city Zoos and in old-growth forest settings of botanical gardens.
I transitioned to leadership in a different part of the city — a new community, a new team of educators. This kind of perspective shift is tough, but it also opens new opportunities to learn. My new role was a very technical one, focused on data analysis and curricular shifts for struggling schools. I wanted to do more than be a compliance officer.
My Superintendent made space for me to learn. I began digging deeper into Maker mindsets and innovative STEM practices. I found myself learning about enabling agency and self-directed learning. And my brain kicked into overdrive. I was able to support the design of our District’s first Elementary maker space, and I had a voice in establishing a District vision that focused on modern learning practices.
With a shift in the Superintendent, the work continued. The new Supt allowed me space to think about the design of a new Middle School, grounded in these new beliefs in agency and modern learning conditions. We engaged the community using design thinking practices to support the foundation of this new school. But alas, it was not to be.
In the middle of a school year (December), a Principal at a struggling school in our District decided to leave due to health concerns. We had a community calling out for help and support, and we had no Principal in place after the Winter Recess.
“Bryan, are you ready to bring your vision to life here? It’s not a new school, but they need your vision to breathe new life into the community.”
“Let’s do it.”
How Did It Go?
In an emergency situation, I stepped into a Principalship. My goal was to bring as much innovation as possible to the school. It needed support in raising academic performance. It needed support in reconnecting to the surrounding community. It needed support in rebuilding its reputation. It needed support to improve a fractured climate and culture. It was a lot.
My work as school Principal began in January, right after the Winter Recess break. January of 2020.
Yep. January of 2020. Within 2 months of hard work resetting climate and culture — which was already making a big difference — the whole system shut down. And then the fall of 2020 return-ish to school. Some days in, some days out. Some are partly in-person and partly remote, and others full remote. Critical conversations are happening about race, oppression, privilege, and justice. Quarantines, shifting policies, vaccines.
I’m only scratching the surface of decision-making and leadership concerns. There was good news to go around, too. Despite the opportunity to apply for remote-only work, 95% of school staff returned to in-person work. We added our District’s (maybe the city’s) first in-school plant-based community refrigerator for our families. We opened a pantry with weekly produce bag giveaways at dismissal. We added a mental health clinic and more social workers to our school. We added more Arts programming, including an Afro-Latin Jazz Band. We continued to try and innovate our practice to make space for student-centered learning.
Our partnership and connection to the community deepened. Academic performance stopped its 5-year decline and was poised to rise. Teachers believed in the school. Parents believed in the school. Kids believed in the school.
Our first year of full-time in-person learning was tough in 2021–2022. We had the support in place, but crises were still there and impacting our community. Students needed to reconnect more deeply as a community. It was tough.
Then I contracted a severe Delta COVID infection. A scary one. In the weeks following Delta, I recognized that I wasn’t feeling right — I started suffering from random panic attacks and bouts of anxiety and depression, something I had never experienced before.
A month after recovering from COVID, our community was struck by the loss of a beloved teacher to Colon Cancer. Get your colonoscopies, readers! With a second COVID infection in the Spring, I could, again, feel the changes to my thinking — more panic attacks followed. I knew I had reached a burnout moment.
Why Did I Leave?
I knew the Principalship would be hard, and I knew it would take a lot out of me. I was prepared to give all I could, but the last year left me strained. Stretched.
I spent time reflecting on all the progress the school had made. I reflected on how I was feeling. I was burnt out. Crispy. And it was making me jaded and disconnected. That is not what the community needed or deserved. I filled the void in an emergency, but it was time to find a permanent leader for this community.
I made the tough decision to step out of the Principal’s role for the school. I was invested in what was best for the community, and realizing that I was not part of that any more was hard to realize but necessary. It was one of the most difficult decisions I made in my career, but I knew it was the right thing to do. I gave all I had to give, and then some. I needed to collect myself. I intended to return to the classroom as a Science Teacher, to simpler needs and decisions, to work I knew and loved.
Where Am I Going?
My mentor found a unique job posting in the Dept of Ed that she thought was perfectly aligned with my beliefs. It would stop me from pursuing my best Teacher-life, but it would connect with my values of innovation and agency for learners. I joined a small but mighty team of education leaders that support new school design and innovation. A dream role.
Beyond the very cool work being done on the team, it also provided a moment to step back from the school building, a chance to breathe and realign me. A chance to think about how I want to focus my time and energy. And reimagining schools and classrooms has me re-energized.
Our team uses Design Thinking to bring in multiple stakeholders to reimagine the student learning experience. Key to this work is the idea that the primary stakeholder to serve and to be heard is the student. Their ideas and input matter. Students are extraordinary thinkers and designers, given the opportunity.
As I continue to dig deeper into Design Thinking, I have been diving down the rabbit hole of Speculative Design, Design Fiction, Regenerative Design, and other future-imagining design processes. These areas have been a LOT of fun. See the Resources section below for some of my favorite, though certainly not the only, links to learning about these topics.
I am using my new learning to reimagine my own Science Curriculum outline and process. I am documenting the redesign process as I recreate units of study in specific content areas. I am going to post the resources and my design process online for review, feedback, and download.
I hope to leave readers with information that is practical and shares why these ideas matter. Sometimes I just want to tell a story about young people learning. I hope you will find the ideas, stories, and tools useful.
RESOURCES
Loving reading Imaginable, by Jane McGonigal